In Defense of the Quick Lube

"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit) 12/20/2015 at 11:33 • Filed to: oil changes, car care, quick lube, that jason torchinsky artle, steve lehto too

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So the lesson we’ve all learned today is that you don’t take your S4 to a quick lube service place, because then they’ll cut a giant hole in the bottom of your car, drain your transmission fluid, pour oil over the top of your engine and then smile as they tell you how they didn’t have to unscrew anything as a bonus. You should be changing your oil by yourself because that’s what real drivers do, blah blah and such. I’m not going to say that changing your own oil is stupid, but as Jason Torchinsky himself points out, telling people that it’s their only alternative is stupid. Here’s why:

1. It’s a matter of time and convienience

This really shouldn’t have to be said, but it would be nice to be able to have relatively complicated maintenance issues be taken care of by trained professionals who know what they’re doing. Sometimes it’s just a matter of time because not everybody has a weekend to spare to get underneath a car and change oil, or even feel like it. The efficiency of a quick lube - when they know what they’re doing - is so game-changing people don’t appreciate just how so until they try to do it themselves.

See, it’s more or less the typical progress of society to evolve towards a greater degree of efficiency, and quick lubes are just an extension of that. At one time, being able to raise and slaughter your own livestock was a flat out necessity of life, but that tends to be considered exceptional for now. I don’t know about you but I for one like the idea of purchasing my dead cow in neatly wrapped, sanitary packages. I don’t understand why automotive maintenance suddenly has to have some sort of anti-convienience stigma.

2. When they know what they’re doing, they can do it much cleaner than you can

I know, for some of you, a dirty, sacrificial set of clothes is a proud uniform, but not for everyone. Not everyone is into scrubbing their hands clean of dirt and especially motor oil in futile fashion with Dial antibacterial soap instead of using, I don’t know, whatever oil dispersant Seventh Generation makes that you like to use. Now, again, this is just a matter of preference, but not wanting to get dirty and leaving it to trained professionals is a valid convienience concern, just like when you’re in a time bind.

3. Unless you’re a serious gearhead (or they’re that incompetent), chances are they can simply do it better than you, too

Now, the tradeoff to all that is that you, yourself, can do a better job they can. How’s the saying go, if you want something done right...?

So yes, no quick lube place on Earth can match the quality of the oil change you can do. After all, you’ve got all the equipment in your garage to do a proper system flush, properly dispose of the spent fluids in environmentally-friendly fashion, and a nice pit in your garage for you to comfortably work under your car, right?

Granted, many of you probably have some or even all of these things (maybe not a garage pit) but most of the people who take their cars into a quick lube simply don’t. Yes, a high school student can do it, given that student has the proper drive and motivation. A lot of people just simply lack that (apparently and unfortunately, including people who apparently literally have that as their job).

4. In the end, it’s actually cheaper

So you pay $25 bucks or so for 5 quarts of motor oil, plus the fees you’ll need to pay to dispose of that oil (you’re not actually thinking of just pouring it down the drain are you, Mr./Miss Eco-Terrorist? ) Not to mention the labor and other “hidden” costs you’re giving to yourself free of charge. Already, that’s around the same price (or more!) you’re paying for a reputable shop or the dealership to do it for you anyway.

So yes, there are legitimate reasons to pay someone to change the oil in your car for you. How do you avoid getting ripped off like in our unfortunate Audi S4 owner’s example? Like Steve Lehto says, you find a reputable shop. We live in the age where the Internet is now legitimately “old,” there’s no excuse for not being able to find one. You’ve got Yelp, you’ve got Google reviews, get to it.

If nothing else, you’ve got the good old standard fallback of court litigation. Yeah it’s a much greater pain in the ass of doing an oil change yourself, but looking at the grander statistics - how many oil changes are actually catastrophically screwed up compared to the hundreds of thousands that are actually successful at reputable shops - I’d say I’m willing to take my chances. You’ve got just about the same statistical chance of contracting a foodborne illness at a typical eatery. So if you’re not afraid to go out once in a while, you shouldn’t be afraid of a trained and reputable professional pawing over the insides of your car.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 11:43

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I take my old Mercedes to one near me, I only go there because they carry the Delo oil I use and a guy there was used to the W123 because people in SF had so many of them. He had to show the younger guys how haha. My Z is super easy but recycling oil and all that is a PITA so why not just go. I take my Honda to Honda because I always get coupons and the person I bought it from went to them for everything so they have the complete history, I can rotate tires there too when I need to.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 11:44

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All very valid points. I just recently started changing my oil but in order to do it I have to borrow my in-laws garage since my FIL has all the tools and my garage is filled with junk and doesn’t have working lights or a smooth floor. That said it was really convent to just be able to take my cars to the local jiffy lube when I was out running errands or its too cold to lie on the ground and bust my knuckles

Jayhawk Jake > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 11:47

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I go to the dealer for an oil change. It’s $40. By the time I buy oil, jack up the car, do the change, and dispose of it properly I've done far more work and spent far more money than it's worth for no benefit. Sure oil changes aren't difficult, but handing the key to the service tech at my dealer and wandering around the lot for 30 minutes is even easier

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 11:52

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Also, a lot of new vehicles are coming with a few years of included oil changes at the dealership. Could I change my own oil? Sure. But since I paid for them when I bought the truck, might as well use them.

I change the oil in the LBC, even though is sucks. Chevy designed a nice oil filter location. And then slapped the supercharger on top of it. You practically have to dislocate your wrist to get it out.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 12:02

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Many shops and dealers can do an oil change just as, if not more, quickly than a quick lube joint. Worst case, it very rarely takes more than an hour for just an oil change at a dealer. Plus, a lot of dealers will wash your car for you and have nice waiting areas with snacks and drinks. Some independents do/have these things as well of course.

I can change my own oil in less than ten minutes, fifteen if I rotate tires too, all while staying cleaner than you will just walking into the parts store, however I still sometimes pay others to do it.

There is absolutely no shame in not changing your own oil.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 12:04

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I was an oil change technician for a while and I’m around them every day at a Chevrolet dealership and let me just say:

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHA *breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

EDIT: Let me clarify. Lube techs do the exact same few motions over and over dozens of times a day. It’s sadly fairly common with the hustle and bustle and the time crunch of a lube rack for an oil filter to not get tightened enough, get double-ringed, a drain plug not tightened down, or a couple lug nuts only left on finger tight (we do rotations as well). Oil gets spilled everywhere, and despite being cleaned to the best of the tech’s ability can still drip on the ground/pristine garage floor or burn off of little crevasses in the exhaust manifold.

Of course, the thing that offsets this potential for things to get screwed up is accountability. When you take your car to a shop they are responsible for any screw ups. Doing an oil change yourself and oil goes everywhere because you didn’t realize Ecotec oil filters have an o-ring instead of a gasket? That’s on you, buddy. If the same thing happens at a dealership they’ll fix it and usually offer you some sort of freebie to keep you from posting “SHITSUX NEVER GO HERE” on Yelp/Google Reviews/Facebook/whathaveyou. Usually another free oil change, free car washes, etc.

Just keep in mind that mistakes happen. Treat the service advisor well and they’ll take care of you and take responsibility for their techs. Give them shit and they’ll talk to you behind your back and probably take turns farting in your seats.

valsidalv, reminding you that infiniti is an option > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 12:06

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Agree with everything but the “cheaper” portion. I used to go to these places before I learned that you don’t use a hammer to tighten screws. My bill was easily $90 CAD each time for full synthetic. And maybe only one time did I not have to wait in a line. At home it’ll take me 5 mins to jack up the car, another 5 to remove the drain plug and filter, 30 while I go back in the house and watch some TV while it drains, and another 15 to finish off the job. A jug of synthetic oil is $45 on sale. And it’s all kinda a therapeutic process.

Once my car was in the shop for something unrelated and I was near my oil change interval so I just asked them to do it. They did it for a lot cheaper than a quick lube place.

04sneaky - Boxers. Blowers. Bikes. And bitches. > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 12:07

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I’ll say these are all valid reasons except for the cost. The local Jiffy Lube is not going to use either the OEM oil or anything that you’d normally buy. They’re going to use Pennzoil or whatever they’re sponsored with. If I go to Walmart and buy a gallon of Pennzoil and a Fram filter I can come under $25 as well. But if I buy my normal Royal Purple or Rotella, I’m going to be breaching that. As I would if I told them to use it instead as well.

I’ve always had the same philosophy in the automotive world. If something is cheap, its for a reason. We can argue over whether or not oil is oil and works the same to a certain mileage, but I live in freezing Missouri and need all the help I can get for cold starts on a big turbo car.

shop-teacher > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 12:15

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I’ve definitely paid to have my oil changed vs. doing it myself many times, but not at a quick lube place. The problem with your points in 2 and 3 is quick lube techs are often not “trained professionals” and really are that incompetent.

Now there is something to the cleaner part. I don’t have the source, so people can choose to believe me or not, but every year people changing their own oil spill more oil that the Exxon Valdez. That’s something worth thinking about.

I change my oil most of the time, because it makes me get under there and inspect it. When I do pay somebody else, I go to a trusted shop and I don’t think twice about it.

Leon711 > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 12/20/2015 at 12:18

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What actually is the process of disposing oil in the US? in the UK it’s easy, we just go to the local recycling centre (there’s 3 within 10 miles of me) and they have a special container you just pour it in.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 12/20/2015 at 12:44

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There’s a huge difference in the quality of lube techs from shop to shop. Not all are created equal. Then again, that goes for regular techs too.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Leon711 12/20/2015 at 12:47

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A lot of parts stores and shops will take used oil, free of charge. Then they have a licensed handler take it away or use it in a purpose-built waste oil furnace.

ChickenMcBooty > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:12

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Thanks for the great post. Yes, the story of what these fucking morons did to this guy’s Audi was jaw dropping, but his experience was an anomaly and shouldn’t serve as an indictment of either the guy for bringing his car there or of the quick lube industry in general. I’ve been taking my VWs, Volvos, Saabs and BMWs to Jiffy Lube/Avis Lube/Qwik Lube et al. since my late teens. I’ve never been less than satisfied or run into any problems. The only thing I’m careful to do is mention that I use K&N air filters so they don’t replace it. And on my VW I always brought them my own anti-freeze because it was specially formulated as generic would corrode the engine. Otherwise, have at it fellas.

Changing fluids is messy and time consuming and there’s no reason for most people to be bothered doing it unless they really want to, have no better way to kill a Saturday afternoon, or just enjoy having to schedule an appointment with a dealer and forking over 3x as much for them to do the exact same thing. These places are a god send and I wouldn’t hesitate to take any vehicle there.

yitznewton > Leon711 12/20/2015 at 13:15

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Here in New Jersey, I /think/ retail places selling motor oil are required to accept it for recycling as well.

Master Cylinder > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:18

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You make some good points, although I’ll point out that disposable latex or nitrile gloves can go a long way toward keeping your hands clean, and disposing of used oil is usually as simple as taking it to your local auto parts store. At least in my area, they charge nothing since they are actually able to sell the used oil to recyclers who can use it for something else / re-process it into usable engine oil again.

Also, you’re right on the cost, but note that the quickie lube places pretty much only use the absolute cheapest oil they can buy in a 55-gallon drum. They’re able to sell it cheaper than you can buy it yourself because of that bulk discount, but hang on to your wallet if you want something like Mobil 1. I doubt any of them even carry the oil I use in my car, either. Odds are they’d just dump some generic 10W-30 in even if I told them it needs 20W-50, let alone having Valvoline VR-1 on hand. So if you’ve got an older or oddball car, then doing it yourself or getting hosed at a dealer become your only options.

Then again, if you have an older or oddball car, you’re probably perfectly happy laying on a piece of cardboard in the garage getting greasy.

If I found a shop I could trust, I’d have no problems taking my wife’s car in for a quickie oil change. But I’ve had more than one instance in the past of those drive-thru oil change shops just doing a drain-and-fill and not changing the oil filter. That’s better than nothing, I guess, but it’s not what you’re paying for.

yellow73kubel > Leon711 12/20/2015 at 13:19

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Here in South Carolina, we have similar recycling centers that accept used oil or we can take it to most local auto parts stores for disposal. I don’t know if the same applies where the OP lives.

Leon711 > yitznewton 12/20/2015 at 13:23

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Makes sense, I would complain that we don’t do that over here but there’s a recycling centre next to where I buy my oil.

Quadradeuce > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:26

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I agree with most of this, but my main issue with these places is that they magically find something wrong with my car every time I go in. Even when I’ve just bought a car and had it inspected by a real mechanic. It pisses me off.

The last time I went to one, they pulled out my MAF sensor. I don’t know if it was on purpose to have me come back for some “service”, but there’s no way it could have just fallen off. Luckily I have an OBD2 reader so I figured it out immediately.

I have made a pledge to myself to just change my own oil, if only to avoid the conversation with those clowns about how dirty my transmission fluid is, even though the car only has 25k miles. I built some full car length ramps and it takes me 15 minutes. And oil disposal is free here in the all American city of Green Bay.

for Michigan > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:38

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You are absolutely right, there is no shame in getting your oil changed. People who look down on others for not changing their own oil are jackasses looking for an excuse to pretend they’re better than someone else.

A few counterpoints as to why I do it myself:

1) Where I live, it’s only cheaper if you’re running conventional oil. Lube places around here charge an arm and a leg for anything but conventional oil. I like to run full synthetic in my cars, so I do it myself to save money.

2) Another local thing, but no one around here charges for oil recycling. I just have to drop it off at a local auto parts store. No extra cost there.

3) I already have clothes I use for wrenching on cars because oil changes aren’t the only work I do on my own cars.

4) It’s a chance for me to do a quick visual inspection so I’m aware of what’s going on under my vehicle. I like to have an idea of what state the mechanical bits of my are in, so it’s nice to have a reason to crawl under there on a regular basis.

Xyl0c41n3 > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:42

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$25 for five quarts of oil? Not for the good stuff, son.

Scott > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:47

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Basically any blanket statement is inherently flawed because everyone’s situation is different. I started getting my oil changed because I had a job that required me to drive lots of miles. (around 3ooo/week at the time) so if I was to do my own oil changes I’d be under my car changing the oil every few weeks. Not fun in the snow in the winter when you have no garage. Also about that time the mechanic who was a family friend that would take my oil retired. I suddenly learned that it was almost impossible to dispose of the oil.

These days I am just plain too busy, If I am wrenching on a car it is for my enjoyment and I have done enough oil changes. That said I have at times considered doing my own oil changes again. Back when I started getting my oil changed I found a great place to go. They had a nice clean waiting area, felt more like a nice restaurant than a garage. Comfortable chairs, several TV’s and a serve your self drinks counter and snack bar that was free.

Where I live now the garages are required by law to take your oil so disposing of it is not the issue it was. However I cannot find any place that I actually enjoy taking my car to. They all feel like a low rent garage in the wrong part of town. They all smell horribly, are at least as dirty as the garage area. They seem to have a waiting area design to meet the minimum definition of a waiting area.

Some of the dealerships offer oil changes but they are anything but fast. I could do it myself and take the oil to them in less time. Plus you have to fend of the salesmen. Luckily I have been able to outsource the chore, so I am spared from both aspects.

Xyl0c41n3 > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 13:54

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I’ll go to a quick lube place every once in a while because of the convenience factor. But the one time I actually took the car back to the dealership I got bought it from was right before I embarked on a road trip. The following day after I’d gotten to my destination and slept/woke up, I notice there’s a huge oil stain on my host’s driveway. Some idiot at the dealership had forgotten to properly tighten the drain plug. I've never taken it back there for a change again.

Berang > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 14:17

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Jiffy Lube et al. refuse to touch my car. Thankfully it is nearly the easiest car to change the oil on that I’ve owned.

TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 15:09

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I refuse to go any where near an Oil Changers place. They are all entirely crooked and most of the time complete butchers. In the short time I’ve owned cars I’ve had to go through stripped drain plugs, missing drain plugs and a shop trying to charge me for doing fuck all. IE, taking the car into the shop and not even touching the drain plug and still trying to charge me as if I wasn’t in the parking lot, watching the whole bloody circus.

Never again.

TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts > Master Cylinder 12/20/2015 at 15:23

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Used oil makes good fire starter fluid for wood fires too. Like wood stoves and that sort of thing.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 12/20/2015 at 18:37

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I do my own oil changes, but that’s because I’m a Ford technician, working at a Ford dealer, who drives a Ford truck, that happily runs with Ford oil and a Ford oil filter. Plus then I can rotate my tires, check the truck over to see if there’s anything wrong, dispose of the oil on my company’s dime, and not worry if somebody else is going to do it right.

Cajun Ginger > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 12/21/2015 at 03:25

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There are two types of cars we hate working on at my work. Cars that were last at a dealer or cars that the owner did the last oil change. Both are notorious for over tightening things. Should not take a breaker bar to get a drain plug loose.